


USNA

by a_windsor



Series: Thing!verse [35]
Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-04
Updated: 2017-06-04
Packaged: 2018-11-08 23:43:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11092380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_windsor/pseuds/a_windsor
Summary: "He is sure of his purpose, which is well-researched and passionately argued to both his mirror and a sworn-to-secrecy Lena. But he is still absolutely terrified." June 2030





	USNA

_USNA_ **\- June 2030**

He’s discussed ad nauseum it with his Grandpa Robbins (and his misty eyes filled with pride), consulted Owen and Aunt Teddy for second opinions, and even broached the subject with Abuelito, who promised to call in any favors necessary to achieve his goal. He is sure of his purpose, which is well-researched and passionately argued to both his mirror and a sworn-to-secrecy Lena. But he is still absolutely terrified.

He lays the brochures out on the kitchen table and watches their faces run the gamut from confusion to shock to... Absolute refusal.

“No.”

“Arizona, let's hear him out...”

“No. Absolutely not.”

“Momma! I'm a Robbins. I want to serve. I have to serve!”

“No. No!” she stands, chair scraping on the wood floor. “I don’t wanna hear this crap your grandfather has been feeding you. The only thing you have to do is stay alive.”

“I want to do this!”

The betrayal that flashes in her eyes before the tears start makes him want to tear up the papers and take it all back. There’s nothing in the world worse than making his momma cry. She stares him down, tears on her cheeks, and then twists the knife in further. She looks at him like she doesn’t recognize him and walks away.

“Arizona,” his madre calls after her uselessly as she disappears into their bedroom. “Okay.” She doesn't look too thrilled either about the whole thing, but she keeps her face studiously neutral. “Tell me your plan, Asa.”

“Every year, the Academy graduates midshipmen that are commissioned as officers in the United States Marine Corps. I want to be one.”

 

***

 

After a long talk that ended with a sighing “I really need to sleep on this, Ace,” Asa trudges up the stairs, exhausted. He's met by a sight that breaks his heart. They’re all gathered at the top landing, obviously eavesdropping, and they all look so young and vulnerable.

Caroline has her bare knees drawn up to her chest, long locks brushed sloppily over one shoulder. Teo, in faded plaid boxers and a worn Seahawks shirt inherited from Asa (via their sisters), is curled up in Lena’s lap, her arms protectively wrapped around his waist. Tiny Dancer’s fingers tap a nervous beat against Lena-nena’s wrists, and _la rubia_ looks up at Asa with those impossibly blue eyes, cheek pressed to the top of Teo’s fuzzy head.

“Are you gonna die, Asa?”

“Teo,” Lena reproaches with a maternal cluck, head springing upward.

Teo ducks his head, momentarily chastened, but soon after both Teo and Caroline, their dark eyes wide, are staring at Asa, waiting for a response.

“Of course not, Teo.”

“But--” Caroline starts.

“Caroline, lleve al nene a la cama,” [Take the little one to bed,] Lena interrupts, gently pushing Teo out of her lap.

“Pero...” [But...]

“Anda,” [Go,] Asa backs Lena, gentle but firm. He doesn’t want to have this conversation tonight. To soothe the concern on the younger ones’ faces, though, he ruffles their hair and quotes their mother: “Turn those frowns upside down. Nothing’s gonna happen to me, tontos [sillies]. We’re just talking about school.”

Caroline and Teo nod, and then she takes their little brother’s hand and drags him to his room.

Lena picks herself up off the stair and follows Asa, plopping down in his desk chair.

“Momma’s mad,” she speaks up as he grabs pajamas.

“Or, quizás más triste que nada.” [Maybe more sad than anything.]

Lena takes in her brother’s words, foot pushing her back and forth on a swivel.

“Uncle Danny.”

“Yep.”

“And Mami?”

“Not very happy, but at least she didn’t yell and walk away.”

Lena nods, biting her lip. “I don’t wanna lose you like Momma lost Uncle Danny.”

“Leni.”

“You can’t promise you won’t,” she says easily, logically.

“That doesn’t mean I will.”

“If anybody’s gonna kill you, it’s gonna be me,” Lena says, clearing her throat.

“Thank you, Lena.”

“I mean, I’m the one that’s had to put up with you for fourteen very long years, y’know?”

“Lena...”

“I have your back, okay? You had mine.”

She refers to the most recent round of Robbins-Torres family drama, surrounding her coming out. No one was really all that surprised, and in retrospect, the fuss looks tame in comparison to the drama Asa has brought down up on this house. He knows it’s different: he has a choice in a way Lena never did, and he could easily avoid this if he gives up his dream. But brave little Lena finally telling their parents about the process of discovery she’d been on had brought an entirely different set of tears to their momma’s eyes.

“Just,” Lena continues, pausing and planting her feet firmly. She quirks her lips, as if considering her words, and then nods, affirming their rightness. “Just be sure, Asa.”

 

***

 

Momma and Mami have gone to work, which means Asa is once again in charge; it’s the burden of being the eldest. Teo is off at science camp for the day, and the girls are all excited to be picked up by Ally Shepherd, recently home after her first year of college. He’s heard it is supposed to be a full day of manicures and shopping.

Lena is on the phone with Katie Shepherd, bubbling about whatever they are going to be doing. He shakes his head; of course his sister and his girlfriend are extremely close, because Lena can never do anything to be _easier_ on her big brother.

Caroline is on the couch beside him, looking at Lena a little funny, which draws his attention away from the book in his hand. Her words make him focus solely on her, because the way she says them is enough to break any big brother’s heart.

“Asa, am I pretty?” she sighs.

“What? Of course you are,” he says automatically. “Cari, what are you talking about?”

“But I’m not Lena pretty. People don’t look at me like they look at Lena.”

He looks over at Lena, in her tiny jean shorts and thin t-shirt, with the blonde, blonde hair and the bright blue eyes and the wide, easy smile. She was always a skinny little kid, but recently she started to fill out to a womanlier, if still athletic, figure. At fourteen, she’s at the tail end of her awkward growth spurt phase, and he’s just started having to threaten to beat up all of his friends at school that look at her not at all fraternally. He looks back at Caroline, eleven and pre-growth spurt, awkward and a little chubby. She’s not just younger and maybe a little less naturally sociable: she’s simply not built like their sister, and never will be.

“Caroline Grace. You are beautiful, but right now you’re still just a kid.”

She makes a face, but Asa presses on.

“One day all the boys will stare at you just like they stare at Lena.”

“’Snot fair. She doesn’t even like boys.”

Asa laughs and tugs on one of Caroline’s braids, which earns him a Cari death scowl.

“Ya se, hermanita. Pero, te prometo que eres muy guapa.” [I know, little sister. But, I promise that you’re very pretty.]

“You’re my brother; you have to say that.”

Asa throws his book down and grabs her into a headlock.

“Then why did you ask me, hm?”

There’s a honk outside in the driveway, and Asa, Cari still trapped and fighting, turns to Lena.

“Were you on the phone with Katie _while_ they were driving over here?”

Lena shrugs and clicks off her phone. “Yes. Now can I have the hermanita, please? We’ve got places to be.”

Asa releases Caroline, who pops up with a huff, hurrying to straighten out her braids.

“Not cool, Asa,” she calls over her shoulder, but the soft smile she passes him belies her pre-teen angst.

Lena moves to follow her, but Asa catches her wrist. She meets his eyes with a questioning gaze.

“What’s up?”

“Be gentle with her today, okay?”

“With Caroline?” Lena asks, clearly confused.

He nods. “She asked me if she’s pretty.”

“Of course she’s pretty! She’s Care Bear. She’s adorable.”

“She doesn’t want to be adorable. She’s eleven now.”

“She’s a baby.”

“Definitely don’t call her a baby.”

“Okay.”

“Just... if she tries on a pretty dress, _tell her_ she’s pretty in it.”

“Okay,” Lena nods once, mission accepted. “Any other orders? Should I pick up a pretty dress for you?”

“None of my colors are in season.”

Lena laughs as they head out to the waiting SUV. After the customary greetings, Lena hops into the backseat beside Caroline and Susie Sloan, and Asa watches as his sisters’ hands thread together automatically. He doesn’t understand girls; just this morning Lena and Caroline were screaming about shared bathroom time and couldn’t stand to be on the same floor of the house. Now they’re cuddling and giggling in the backseat.

Asa leans into the open front passenger window, noting how much he loves summer when he notices the short skirt Katie is wearing.

“Hi.”

“Hey,” Asa smiles.

“Ugh, goo-goo eyes. Still?” Ally asks, fingers drumming on the steering wheel. “Hi, Asa.”

“Hey, Ally.”

“Hi, Asa!”

Asa startles at the unexpected voice and leans in further, finally noticing Grey Sloan in the back seat of the SUV.

“Getting a mani-pedi, Baby Grey? How manly of you.”

“Masculinity is a construct, Asa,” his thirteen-year-old godbrother calls up to him, obviously parroting his beloved Lena, who beams and offers him a high five.

“Do you even know what half those words meant?” Asa teases, directing it at both of them.

Grey looks a little confused, so Asa just says: “Ask Ally.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to come? There’s room next to Grey,” Katie offers as he returns his full concentration to his girlfriend.

“He and his books will have much more fun here,” Lena promises.

Asa has to admit to that one.

“Have fun. Stay out of trouble, hermanitas.”

He calls into the back of the car, but his smiling attention is solely on Katie.

“Oh, just kiss already so we can get out of here,” Ally groans playfully.

Katie blushes at her sister’s ribbing, but leans forward to give him a quick kiss anyway.

“Have fun. Get pretty,” he says to the whole car as he pulls away.

“We already are,” Grey calls forward, earning a laugh from the rest of the car.

Asa shakes his head and backs up so Ally can throw the car into reverse. He taps the hood and waves as they back away. Katie grants him a soft grin through the windshield that summons an immediate answering smile on his face. That girl’s gonna be the death of him.

 

***

 

In the afternoon, Asa picks Teo up from his science camp the next day to take him to his dance lesson.

Teo is waiting, surrounded by a bunch of other boys. Nicky Altman-Tate is conspicuously absent; though usually attached at the hip, Teo and Nicholas chose different weeks for their school’s science camp, since Nicky is visiting his grandparents for the week.   The absence of the much taller Nicky allows the other boys to gang up on Asa’s little brother.

They look to be a little older, but Teo’s always been just a bit small for his age, so they could be peers. As Asa gets closer, he notices the frown on Teo’s face and the way he is looking anywhere but at the other children.

“What’s the matter, Twinkle Toes?” one of them asks. “He’s just asking you about your girl lessons. Do you wear a tutu?”

Another boy, this one definitely a few years older, says: “It’s not his fault. He only has moms; he doesn’t know how to be a boy.”

Teo still studiously ignores them, adjusting his backpack. The very tone would’ve had Caroline, their firebrand, swinging, and not much more would’ve elicited the same response from Asa himself. Teo, however, takes more after Lena; while both can throw a good punch, they tend more naturally to turning the other cheek.

“Hey, little brother,” Asa speaks up, stressing the relationship. The other boys turn to look at him and are appropriately scared of the tall, increasingly muscled teenager currently staring them down, unimpressed. “You ready to go?”

“Sure, Asa,” Teo says, brushing past the biggest of the boys as if he isn’t even there.

Asa gives a little shooing gesture to the assembled bullies, and they scatter.

“They’re dumb, Teo. No les debes escuchar.” [You shouldn’t listen to them.]

“Ya se,” [I know,] Teo shrugs, but his usual omnipresent grin is still missing.

Asa takes his brother’s backpack from him as they check out with the counselor and then head to the car.

“What’s wrong, hermanito?”

Teo pauses and sighs.

“Who’s gonna make ‘em stop doing _that_ when you’re gone?” he asks, foot tapping a nervous rhythm, never-still hands shoved in his pockets to keep them from distracting.

“Caroline,” Asa teases, half-smile in place. “She’s better at it anyway.”

Teo rolls his eyes. “She’s my _sister_.”

“Watch how you say that. She can kick your butt, and you’re getting big enough that I won’t stop her,” Asa elbows his little ribs, trying to get a smile. The boy still just looks concerned. “Teo, that would be the same if I went to the Naval Academy or just went to any other college. I can’t stay forever.”

“But I don’t _want_ you to go.”

“It’s in two years. You’ll be ten and sick of me.”

Teo gives him an unamused glare, crossing his arms over his chest.

“No te preocupes,” [Don’t worry,] Asa says gently. “Which dance do you have today?”

There. A smile. Works every time.

“Wednesdays are ballet y tap. ¿Quedarás? ¿Me mirarás? [Will you stay? Will you watch me?]”

Asa thinks it over as he opens the back door for Teo to climb in.

“Yeah. If I can bring a book.”

“Okay,” Teo beams. “What are we gonna listen to?”

 

***

 

If breakfast had been awkward (and it had been), dinner is even worse.

Teo, Lena, and Callie are trying desperately to ease the tension with conversation. Lena discusses the soon-to-start summer league, and Teo tells all the dance class gossip.

Asa never thought before that his momma was capable of the silent treatment, and maybe that’s not what this is, but it sure feels like it.

“Momma.”

Asa doesn’t know if Teo is oblivious to their mom’s foul mood or just purposely ignoring it, but he admires the way his little brother presses on.

“Momma, what’s the capital of the Philippines?” Teo asks.

Momma is their resident geography expert, Marine brat that she is.

“Manila, Mateo. Why?”

Teo shrugs and Asa wonders what exactly goes on in the eight-year-old’s head.

“The Philippines were a Spanish colony, too,” Lena speaks up. “Like Cuba and the Dominican Republic.”

That piques Teo’s attention; he loves hearing everything about the two Caribbean islands he claims as his own.

“Really?”

“Yep.”

“¿Se habla español there, too?” [Do they speak Spanish...]

“Not as much...”

Asa listens as his sister gives the freshman year version of colonial history, focusing on his dinner to avoid the awkwardness around the table. He looks up and tries to meet his mother’s eyes, but she is also studying her peas. Asa sighs, and eleven-year-old Caroline manages to give him a sympathetic smile as The Teo and Lena Show continues.

 

***

 

After sending Things One through Four off to bed for the night (Teo and Caroline to sleep, Lena and Asa to chat/call/text/whatever teenagers are doing these days), Callie and Arizona head out to the back porch to enjoy the summer evening with a couple of beers. They sit in adjacent chairs around the patio table and discuss the meaningless details of their day and the logistics of four very active kids, until Callie decides to press the real issue plaguing their family at the moment.

“Let’s talk about Asa.”

Arizona sets her beer down and crosses her arms over her chest.

“Come on, Arizona, you _had_ to have seen this coming.”

“We see hurricanes coming; that doesn’t mean we like it when they make landfall.”

Callie grins at her east coast tropical metaphor but quickly smothers it. This is serious and scary, she knows, especially to Arizona.

“And why aren’t you freaking out about this? You’re the one who thought I was a terrible person for thinking George O’Malley enlisting was awesome.”

“You’re only going to hear this from me once but: you were right then.”

Arizona barely manages a smile at that.

“Look what happened to George. He wasn’t killed in combat; he died right here on the streets of Seattle. If we’re really scared of anything ever happening to him, we’d lock him in a bubble. Plus, we’re not at war in the same way now,” Callie continues. “Not in the same numbers.”

“There are still combat zones, and he’d serve in them.”

“Probably yes. But like you said, you thought George enlisting in wartime was awesome.”

“O’Malley wasn’t my son!” She takes a deep breath, calming herself. “I love the Marines, Callie, I do. I probably always will, because Semper Fi is like an incurable disease. But they have taken _a lot_ away from me. They took away any chance I had at a normal, stable childhood. They took my dad away on long assignments or kept him away for long hours, stateside. They _took my brother_. Danny was that same way, like it is impossible to be a Robbins without being a Marine. I won’t let them take my baby boy the way they took Danny.”

“There’s nothing we can really do to stop him,” Callie points out the painful truth. “Dad’s already made a call to the Senator, and you know the Colonel will put in a good word for him.”

“Your dad already called the Senator?”

“He’s a big tax payer and leader in the hospitality industry.”

Arizona rolls her eyes; only Carlos Torres buys a hotel merely because it is in a city where his grandchildren live. She’s pretty sure she did a good old-fashioned jaw drop when he announced his plans at Teo’s christening eight years ago.

“Plus, your dad is totally the reason this is even happening.”

“I’m going to kill him.”

“Even if we could keep him out of the Academy, he’d just sign up as soon as he was eighteen. At least this way he’ll be an officer.”

“Look at you, all down with military policy.”

“I actually listened to his proposal,” Callie says pointedly.

Arizona makes a face, clearly not liking getting called out on this.

“I can’t. I just can’t,” Arizona deflates, and it kills her wife to see the fight leave her. “And I can’t understand how you can.”

“He’s just like you,” Callie says gently.

Arizona rolls her eyes again and shakes her head.

“No, don’t do that. He is. And he’s not going to give up on this, no matter what. But it’s going to tear him apart if his momma’s not on his side.”

“I am on his side; I just prefer that that side not be the Marines.”

“I don’t think we get that choice. Listen to him. Please? It’s so well thought out, and he’s really done his research. Let’s sit down and listen, and then we’ll have a conversation. Because right now? You’re kinda being a brat.”

Arizona huffs. Callie shrugs; after twenty years together, she’s certainly not afraid to call it like she sees it.

“You are. You’re worse than Cari right now. The silent treatment. Really?”

“I’m scared; why aren’t you scared?”

“I am. But ignoring the problem until he ships off to Annapolis in two years isn’t going to stop him from going, and it’s only going to make us all miserable.”

Arizona pouts a little, and Callie sighs, affectionately, at how a mother of four can still pull the puppy dog pout like a pro.

“I hate it when you’re the rational one.”

Callie laughs, leaning over to kiss her cheek.

“Then put on your big girl panties, and tomorrow it can be your turn to be the rational one.”

Arizona snorts a laugh of acquiescence, picking her beer up off the patio table and taking a swig.

“Okay. Tomorrow. When?”

“Caroline is spending the night with Cristina and Owen, and I bet we could convince Teddy to take Lena and Teo for dinner at least. They just got back tonight, so they’ll all want to catch up. Dinner, the three of us. Sound like a plan?”

“Okay.”

 

***

 

Asa awakens in the middle of the night to his madre sitting on the edge of his bed. He briefly wonders if he’s dreaming, or if he somehow woke up six instead of sixteen, but he shakes himself awake and asks:

“Mami, what are you doing?”

“I had a nightmare.”

“Isn’t that what Momma is for?” Asa asks, groggily, scooting over so she has a little more room. She’s looking at him like she wants to gather him up and rock him like when he was a baby, and that’s more than a little disconcerting.

“I can’t tell your mother this one.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s about you.”

“Mami...” Asa sighs sadly, sitting up.

“It used to terrify me, every time you’d ask your Grandpa about the Marines , or do ‘PT’ in the backyard, or read another book of military history. I wanted to steal you away and wrap you in bubble wrap and make you a ballerina or something.”

“Well, you got Teo.”

“His preferred title for the week is ‘dancemaster’.”

Asa shakes his head at his beloved little brother’s silliness.

“So what changed your mind?”

“Time, and accepting the inevitable, and a lot of long talks with your Grammy. And offers to bribe Grandpa into telling you not to join the Marines.”

“With Grammy, hm? She’s pretty convincing.”

“She is. She told me if she could do it all over again, she wouldn’t keep Danny from putting on that uniform. Because without that uniform, without being a Marine, he wasn’t the Danny she knew. It was a part of him. ¿Pienses que es parte de ti?” [Do you think it’s part of you?]

“Sí, Mami. Estoy seguro.” [Yes, Mami. I’m sure.]

“Me, too,” Callie sighs. “Your momma and I want to have dinner with you tomorrow. Just the three of us.”

Asa fights down the nerves that accompany the idea of that conversation.

“Uncle Mark is taking me to the Mariners game.”

“Oh, right.”

“But it’s an afternoon game, Mami. I can make sure I’m home for dinner,” he quickly finishes, unable to deny her her peacemaking efforts.

“Gracias, mi amor.”

“¿Estás bien, Mami?” [Are you okay, Mami?]

Callie shakes herself out of her haze and leans down to kiss his cheek, making him feel six all over again.

“I’m good. Sleep tight.”

“Night, Mami.”

 

***

 

“Hey, Acer, brought you two hotdogs and a Coke. I miss anything good?”

“Two groundouts,” Asa shakes his head disdainfully, adjusting his Mariners’ cap over his buzz cut.

“Really? What the hell, guys?” Mark yells at their team, for good measure, as he sits down next to his godson.

“Thanks, Uncle Mark,” Asa says around a mouthful of hotdog.

“It’s in the godfather contract,” Mark shrugs. “’Must feed godchild when in custody’.”

Asa laughs. “Good to know.”

“So, I hear things are getting pretty serious between you and Katie.”

Asa chokes a little on his soda, eyes widening.

“Um, yes?”

“I just, uh, wanted to tell you to be careful. Do you know about protection and--”

“Uncle Mark, please, stop,” Asa eeks out. This is just going to be the day of awkward, uncomfortable conversations, then. “Mami’s got it covered; we’ve talked about it. A lot. Too much.”

“You sure? ‘Cause if you ever want a, uh, _male_ perspective, you just let me know. Pretty sure that one’s in the contract, too.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Asa says, shifting uncomfortably. “Thanks.”

“I’m also, as her uncle, obligated to say that if you hurt her, I will have to kill you. And if you knock her up, they will not find the pieces of your body. That last part is from Derek. You know I love you too much; I’d make it quick and painless.”

“Okay.”

“Alright. Pass me the peanuts. Did you see what those girls did to my little boy? Bright blue finger- and- toenails! Just in time for summer workouts for football.”

“Baby Grey did that to himself, and no one doubts he will still crush people on the football field,” Asa promises, relaxing with the changed topic.

“He told me last night that ‘masculinity is a construct’,” Mark sighs, earning a chuckle from his godson. “What the hell does that even mean?”

“That’s Lena’s doing. And it means that he can get a mani/pedi and still be a badass safety and cornerback.”

“I don’t see your nails painted.”

“I’ll go out and do it tomorrow if it’ll make you feel better. Do you think red or pink better complements my skin tone?”

Asa holds a hand, dirty with ballpark grit, up against his face, wiggling the fingers playfully.

“Red. Definitely,” Mark grins, taking a swig of his beer. “They’re gonna kick your ass for that in the Marines.”

Asa shrugs. “What don’t they kick your ass for in the Marines?”

Mark smiles and affectionately punches Asa’s shoulder.

“Wanna know a secret?” Asa asks.

“Yeah.”

“The Colonel gets pedicures once a month. Gram makes him.”

“No, he does not!”

Asa nods affirmatively.

“Does he like them?”

The teenager shrugs, turning his attention to the field as their designated hitter slams one towards center. It looks like it has the possibility of escaping the wall, and he and godfather half-stand in anxious anticipation.

It falls neatly into the Oakland A’s centerfielder’s glove.

They deflate, sitting back down.

“Gonna be a long road to October,” Mark sighs.

Asa pulls the brim of his cap low over his eyes, sighing in agreement. That is if he survives tonight in order to make it to October.

 

***

When Asa gets home, it’s just his mami waiting. Momma had a surgery go long, and the younger three are out for the night: Caroline to her godmother’s, Lena and Teo to the Altman-Tate residence for a dinner and movie night.

“How’d they do?” Callie asks as Asa plops down at the bar.

He grabs the baseball cap off his head and rubs at his buzzed hair.

“Not great at all. Munchkins out?”

“For the night.”

“So Momma has time to hide the body?”

“No. I won’t let her kill you,” Callie promises, attention on the stirfry.

“I guess that’s the outcome she’s trying to avoid,” Asa quips, clearly nervous.

Callie’s head pops up, and she points warningly at him with the spatula.

“Don’t you joke about that,” she orders.

“Sorry, Mami,” he says contritely.

It’s odd to see him to shaken up. He’s pretty fearless in most situations, but upsetting his momma seems to be one of the few situations that unnerves him.

“Wash up and set the table, okay? Your mom is on her way home now.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

He grabs all of the necessary supplies and starts to set the table with an unconscious military precision. While many of his habits purposefully mimic military behavior learned and copied from his grandfather, setting the table with near perfect symmetry was just how their momma had taught them.

Callie turns off the stove and dumps everything into a bowl for serving. The dryer buzzes back in the laundry room, and she goes to retrieve it.

Asa looks up when the door to the garage opens and freezes when he sees his mother. Arizona gives him a gentle smile and drops her stuff on the table by the door. She walks over purposefully and wraps her arms around his middle. His strong arms come around her automatically and hold on tight as she buries her face in his shoulder.

“I’m scared, Asa,” she whispers and squeezes him even harder.

“Momma...” he says, voice getting tight.

“I don’t want to lose another boy I love.”

“I know, Momma. I’m sorry.”

He’s so tall by now that he towers over her and Callie. It’s just one of the many things about him that reminds her of Danny. Her little brother quickly surpassed her in height and never let her forget it, constantly manhandling her the same way she’d pushed him around when they were younger. For not the first time, she thinks about how much her brother and her babies would have adored each other. Asa, especially.

“I’m scared, too,” her (not so) little boy says softly, clinging to her.

Arizona pushes away gently and takes his face in her hands.

“You don’t have to do this.”

“But I want to. It feels right.”

“I know,” Arizona says sadly, pushing up to kiss his cheek. “You wouldn’t be my little man if you didn’t.”

“Not so little anymore.”

“One knife in your mother’s heart at a time, okay?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Asa grins. “We don’t even know if I’ll get in.”

Arizona smiles wanly at her eldest.

“Oh, you’ll get in.” She studies his beloved face just a few seconds longer before releasing him and saying: “I don’t love this, but I love you, and I’m proud of you, Asa.”

“Thank you, Momma.”

“Okay. Tell me your plan. Make the pitch.”

“We should wait for Mami.”

“Mami’s here,” Callie calls from behind them, wiping unsubtly at her eyes.

Arizona pokes her son’s hip. “Go hug your madre; she’s leaking.”

Asa grins and walks over to hug Callie tight.

“Told you she wouldn’t kill you,” she whispers in his ear.

“Eres muy sabia, Mami,” [You’re very wise,] Asa jokes as she rests her head on his shoulder.

“Come have dinner before I eat it all. It smells great.”

Callie rolls her eyes at Asa and lets him go, following Arizona to the table.

“I’m gonna go get my papers,” Asa calls as he heads for the stairs.

“Hi, honey, how are you? Long time no see,” Callie teases, getting a quick kiss from her wife. She leans in and whispers so their retreating son can’t hear her. “Thank you.”

“I get to be the rational one, remember? You’re doing pretty well at the crazy, hysterical one,” Arizona smiles gently, reaching up to wipe at the few tears that escaped Callie’s earlier attempts to clean herself up.

“I had an excellent example of it yesterday.”

Arizona sticks her tongue out and kisses her again, briefly.

“I’m still scared.”

Callie squeezes her hand as they seat themselves around the table.

“Oo, I’m going to take Teo’s seat,” Callie announces, excited at the idea of usurping the usually strict seating arrangements. More seriously, Callie turns to Arizona. “I’m scared, too. But all we can do now is listen to him. And pray.”

“Call the priest,” Arizona says shakily.

“I know your brother died in duty, but your dad didn’t. Nothing is set in stone.”

“I know. I just can’t imagine what it will be like to be without him.”

“Things will definitely change around here,” Callie notes. She brings Arizona’s hand to her lips. “But we had four for a reason, right? Totally interchangeable. It’s okay if we lose one.”

“Gee, thanks, Ma,” Asa calls from the bottom of the stairs as Arizona smacks Callie playfully.

“No, they’re each irreplaceable,” Arizona insists as Asa comes over and sits next to her.

“Thank you, Momma. I’m so telling Teo you said that,” he directs to his madre, setting the papers on table next to his plate.

“You wouldn’t dare,” Callie fakes being scandalized.

“Alright, let’s eat now. We’ll hear the sales pitch once we’re full of this yummy dinner. Is that okay?”

Asa nods.

“Good,” Arizona says firmly, finally. “Alright, so, how did this afternoon go? Did we win?”

“No. But I think I talked Uncle Mark into getting a pedicure...”

 

 

***

 

el fin


End file.
